Mom: ...I use it to hammer my nuts...
Me: *stare* ahhhhh hahaha!

Dad: Nothing looks familiar.
Mallory: Well Dad, that's because everything looks the same.

Mallory: you stop it with your mexi-language.

Mallory: aw! It's got a weenie on top!

Austin: you're how the weekend starts!
Mallory: yeah I am!!!