It's the simple things

We get more entertainment out of Ariel's OKC account than I can really explain or justify...

Ariel: I am trying so hard to keep this cookie in my mouth.

Mallory: I just want some gentle taco lovin. (in response to some dude's ridiculous screen name)

Yeah, girl. Juicy.

Austin: You guys juice the tourettes out of me!

Learning about New Jersey

Ariel: What's a HOPTACONG?
Mallory: A "Hoptacong" is a place. And I think it's Hopatcong...

Mike: A beard is like a sweater for your face.

Ariel: "You can milk anything with nipples."
Mike: All male things have nipples.
Ariel: Do you know what that comes from?
Mike: Chromosomes.

Ariel: I want to shove these things up my nose and smell them forever.

Gerry: "Are we in the lint belt? This house produces 8.3 percent more lent than any other house . . . "

Gerry: "You know what this room needs? More kitty litter."

And Heather's husband makes his debut!!
Gerry: "I'm sweeping with a sponge, you think life is grand for me right now?!"

He is inherently shady because he is from India.

Ariel: And then baby Jesus was in a car wreck!

Steve: it's a nappy kind of day.

Austin: My entire life just flashed....
Mallory: Between my legs!

Ariel: I'm going to let you swallow first.

Cowboy, Batman, whatever...

Ariel: Bruce Wayne is a cowboy right?
Austin: No.... Bruce Wayne is Batman.