Austin: And then Mallory got pregnant by sheer force of will.

Ariel: Quit screaming! You don't even have it in you!

Ariel: you have every ingredient for happiness.
Austin: which is mostly cinnamon.

Pam: Well, you LOOK like you would smell like milk...

Austin: (as a tick) BREAKFAST!!

Austin: Don't splash me with your burning evil!

Austin: what? Squishpikes? ... I mean ants...

Austin: Get your toes out of the pizza!
Mallory: I like pizza on my toes!
Ariel: Mmmm... Pizza toes...

Austin: purring waffles!

Rachael: It looks like it's all just freaky chairs...

Susan: That part of Canada is ridiculous.
Paul Canada: That part of Canada IS ridiculous.