Que Hora Es?

Me: What time is it?
Ariel: 7:27. ...Like a jet.

(This is via my dear friend Spencer.)
James Hockenberry: Scotch is the wood flavored jolly rancher

Skype

Spencer: I wish that my skin didn't die.

Spencer: Do fish get allergies?

Mallory: I win! I win! I win! It's like competing with a troll!!

Ariel: Mallory! Why are you dancing?
Mallory: Because I'm doing a jig!!

Mallory: How's your chicken Gollum?
Ariel: You ruins it!! ... RAAAAHHH!!!!

Mallory: I'm going to name all my children Cap. Cap 1, Cap 2, Bottle Cap...

Tyler: No! Where's the winner going?!

Random Reno Girl: "I think Jesus is who he says he is."

Austin N: It's weird. It's twilight zone pee.

Girl standing behind me at ACTF: I have a back up BJ just in case.

Austin N: You can't "dibs" the birthworm...

Austin N: Sometimes when I twitch, my legs twitch too. And they both go in at the same time and I crush my balls.

All men at the table: *cringe*

John Bagaglio: I do confess my fault; and... Oh balls!

SO random

From the kitchen, Ariel says:

"Sometimes I think, "Wow Ariel, you're weird!"